Life is Good

50 nautical miles north of BMT. 32000 ft above msl. My 1st officer under training tuned Tan So Nhat ATIS and struggled to pick up the weather report through the static.

Massive electrical storm activity has been plaguing the Mekong Delta. After all its the middle of the monsoon season.

Number 1 turned to me, shook his head and mumbled “it’s 500RVR in TSRA with crosswinds gusts up to 40kts”. To the non aviation types, that’s 74km/h winds gusting 90 degrees to our landing direction, half a km of visibility when you look out the front windscreen.

“What’s the problem Captain?” The non aviation types asked. I drive my car down the highway at 150km/h on average barely able to see the car infront on me in heavy rain everyday I race to my office avoiding the massive KL traffic jam.

A few differences here:
1. Your car is 1.5 tons maybe, my airliner is on average 70 tons on landing
2. You are travelling a tortoise 150km/h while I am slowing to 270km/h over the airport fence
3. You have 1 life to worry about in that german sports car while I am carrying 196 souls in this aluminium tube.
4. It is also illegal for me to start an approach with such weather. Rules that are written in the blood of my fellow aviators since men learned to fly.
5. Passengers did not purchase a roller coaster ticket when they booked with my employer. They expect to keep their stomach contains in.

One glance of the fuel status shows we have 15 minutes to wait at the edge of this electric thunderstorm. The friendly air traffic controllers informed us we will be number 5 in line for approach.

I gave number 1 controls of this 76 ton aluminium tube while i go on number 2 radio and called mother for our alternate airport weather. (Before you laugh out loud why would I call my Mother?? Is the Captain….now with a small c scared of the electrical thunderstorm???! From now on Mother = airline dispatch)

Mother said our alternate is within legal minimums (non aviation types translation : i demand a full refund of my ticket price for not landing at the place that you promised)

I came back to number 1, his face is the color of Edward in that Twilight movie….he mumbled…Tan So Nhat is closed for the next 20 minutes.

ok….10 more minutes to bingo fuel…let’s just advice the friendly air traffic controllers that we may need to turn towards our alternate in 8 minutes. Wait a minute Captain with a small c who called his Mother in the thunderstorm and failed primary school math. Where are the 2 minutes???!!! You said 10mins and then you said 8mins. You owe us 2 minutes! That’s 120 seconds El Kapitan with a small k!

1 reason only. There are at least 15 aluminium tubes circling at the perimeter of this electrical storm trying to get 1 overworked controller’s attention. The VHF radios that we use (Very High Frequency for the N.A.T = non aviation types) only allow 1 transmission at any particular time. If the N.A.T have been to the local Big C or Giant cashier counter on a Saturday evening you may understand why this Captain with a small c may need that precious 120 seconds to get a clearance.

2 mins 30 seconds from bingo fuel, number 1 asked permission to leave the hold

Clearence to exit the hold was granted at 30 seconds to bingo fuel.

I steered a heading to track to our alternate. Gave number 1 controls again. Pushed the Fwd attendant button and informed the Head Mama-san……. ah…. sorry, Chief Purser that we are going to land at our alternate in 30mins.

With my best Captain with a big C voice I picked up the Mic and broke the bad news to the 190 souls in my pressurized aluminium tube that we are landing in the coastal resort city of NhaTrang instead of Saigon.

I can kiss my dinner reservations at Park Hyatt goodbye now….. the wife will not be pleased…

Mother Nature : 1, Captain One Wing Low : 0